A little late, but a tale of the nascent stages of my trip

Just started THE JOURNEY.

At the Medford check in counter, the lady greeted us kindly, joked that she would like to hop into my bag and have me take her with me, and everything proceeded seamlessly. Then came . . .SECURITY.

Doesn’t just everyone love airport security? The chance to establish such intimate relationships in a record time—its almost like speed dating. Seriously, I think those TSA agents know more about me than some of my own friends do. I can just see them thinking those pejorative thoughts:

“She’s reading Amy Tan—what a nerd.” 

“A whole pound bag of chewy Sprees?! Girl, I know where she got that freshman fifteen—Willy Wonka handed it right over to her.”

Anyways, moving right along . . .

I passed through security without issue. My bag wasn’t quite so lucky. It was subjected to a search because a glut of novels from a last minute Barnes and Noble binge had rendered it opaque under the X-ray.  (Curse you, Amy Tan.) A partial search showed that I carried nothing but enough books to educate an entire third world nation and enough snacks to feed them too.

She finished her basic search and I thought I was in the clear. But then . . .she swiped the bag with a wand to test for chemical residue. The machine shrieked, claiming me to have malevolent intent. I was sentenced to a pat down.

One TSA agent played a version of “I Spy” in which she completely disemboweled my backpack, strewing the strategically packed contents of the bag across the cold, gleaming stainless steel counters. The other took the time to get up close an personal with me—thankfully it was over quickly. The most awkward part was in was in front of my parents. Yes, those worrywarts, bless their hearts, did not want to leave until I was safely past the security.

Finally both of them were through with their searches and I could continue with my adventure. The woman handed me back the empty backpack, pitifully disheveled after being relieved of it’s burden.  I quickly repacked before they changed their minds and continued on my way. Needless to say, if the rest of the trip was anything like it’s start, it’s promising to be memorable.